Practicing at Chipotle: One Day, Twice the Embarrassment

Well last Saturday was an interesting day for me and one where I ended up feeling embarrassed twice but for two completely opposite and opposing reasons.

At the end of April I finally received my marriage visa and shortly after that I got my National Insurance Number.  What that means is am I now eligible to work here in the UK. Now while that is great, the fact that I am allowed to work here obviously does not guarantee me a job. I have spent the last month and a half looking for work and so far I have nothing official. I have spent most of my time searching for teaching jobs because that is the field of work I most enjoy and have the most experience in. The problem with getting a teaching job here is first that it requires criminal background checks from any country I have lived in in the past 5 years, which for me includes South Korea, China and the States. While that might sound simple enough it in fact takes a lot of paper work, money and time to get it all accomplished. I have sent in all my applications for my criminal records almost three weeks ago and now I am just waiting to get them back. The second problem with teaching jobs is that June is not the best time of the year to acquire them because this just isn’t the season in which teachers are needed. Now I do have an open invitation to be a part of a teaching placement agency once all my criminal background checks have cleared. That would basically make me a substitute teacher in London and possibly open up some doors for long term assignments or even permanent positions.  But just like with regular teaching this is not the best season for substitute teaching so work will not likely be plentiful once I am allowed to substitute.

Due to these facts I have also been looking for other jobs at least to get me through the summer. I have mostly focused on admin or data entry types of jobs because I have some experience with those things and all in all I don’t mind office work. I've had a few leads but nothing has materialized. After five weeks of searching it’s gotten to the point where I will take almost any job no matter what it is. What that led to was that one day while I was at Chipotle for a much needed burrito I talked to the person in charge and asked if they were hiring. They said they were, gave me an application and asked me to come in for an interview later in the week. I went for the interview and had some fun talking to the manager he was from Poland and just a nice guy. Three days later I got a call and he asked me to come in for what they call a practice shift. Apparently the way Chipotle decides who to hire is not based solely on the application but also on some actual field testing. They ask you to come in and work for a day, anywhere from 3 to 8 hours and then they decide if they want to see you again at which point they offer you a second practice day at the end of which they make their final decision. The first day you work for free, though you do get a free burrito, then they pay you for the second day.

So my first practice day came Saturday and before I had even gone there I had spent the whole week wrestling with the idea of if I really wanted to work there. First of all the job does not pay very well. I would end up spending around 15% of what I made in a day just to get there and back home. Second it is a job in food service. I have not worked in food service since I was in high school and I must say I never really enjoyed it. I much preferred retail service to food because food service requires more manual labor. Also there is just something about seeing the food prepared and taking care of the restaurant that makes the food somewhat less appealing than it was before you saw behind the curtain. My last issue was simply the fact that I am 32 years old and I admit the idea of working in a fast food restaurant is just kind of embarrassing. Now when you need money you need money but still part of me couldn’t shake the feeling that I could do better and I just wouldn’t want to admit to anyone back home that I was working there. The fact is Chipotle really isn’t a name I want on my resume. Now the other part of me said not to worry about it since I would likely only be working there for a few months until I could find a teaching job and of all the jobs to take for only a few months this would be a great one. It would allow me to get a lot of free burritos and make some friends who I could connect with even after I left. Still when I was on the train at 7 am on Saturday morning headed to my first practice day I couldn’t help but feel a bit self-conscious at the idea of working there.  

   

So I got to Chipotle on time and was soon paired with one of the employees who would basically be my mentor for the day instructing me on what to do and how to do it. But before I could start my shift I had to be given a Chipotle shirt and hat to wear. Now at first I liked the idea but then I saw that the shirt and hat they handed me had clearly been used before and by the looks of them used quite extensively. Now I understand the reasoning of sharing hats, that really isn’t that big of a deal, still when the black hat they hand you has a bright white ring on the inside of it from where people have been sweating a lot it’s not the most desirable of things to put on your head. But the shirt was worse not only could I tell it had been used before but it was obvious that it hadn’t been washed since the last person used it. It was a bit hardened in certain areas, particularly in the arm pits, and discolored again from sweat. But hey you have to do what you have to do so I put on “my” uniform and went out with the person who was going to direct me.

We began the day with making hard taco shells and tortilla chips. These items were not shipped in from somewhere else but rather were made in house. We took soft tortillas and turned them into shells and chips using a deep fryer they had there. Making the chips was more difficult because it required doing multiple things at once including keeping an eye on how long the chips had been in the fryer as well as liming (squeezing fresh limes on to the chips) and salting the chips. And I must say squeezing limes by hand makes your fingers sore quickly. You also have to learn how to toss the chips in a bowl without spilling them all over the floor so that you can maximize and even out the spread of lime juice and salt over all the chips. Needless to say I spilled and burnt a few chips during this process. After that I was asked to open a bunch of bags that they put the chips into and then distribute the tortilla chips evenly throughout all the bags. It had to be at least a hundred bags that they started out with. They try to make enough chips to get through the first half of the day and then the evening crew comes in and makes more chips for the dinner crowd. I was pleased to find that the chips were made fresh every day and now that I was the one who made them I knew I wouldn't be quite as critical of any bag of chips I bought in the future. If the lime juice and salt didn't seem to be evenly spread over all the chips I would understand because man that is not easy to do. After that I had to wash a lot of dishes and juice a lot of lemon and limes that they use for various things like the rice.

At 10:40am we all stopped working and where given our lunches. They ate at this time because it was right before the store opened up for lunch and this way they could get everyone’s break out of the way and not have to worry about anyone leaving or changing spots during the rest of their shift. While this made sense I admit only getting a 20 minute break 3.5 hours into your shift wasn't what I would consider ideal. When you are working there a fellow employee makes your burrito for you (no one makes their own) and they were quite generous with the portions they gave and basically asked me the whole way down the line how much of everything I wanted. I had a nice carnita burrito with pico de gallo and green chili salsa and it was great. During the break I also got to chat with all the people I was working with. Up to that point I had only met each of them once and spent most of the time with the girl who was training me. Now I tried to ask them all about their time at Chipotle, how long they had been there and what they thought about it but they all wanted to ask me questions so I ended up doing more of the talking than listening. Now one of the most difficult things I found to deal with during my day was understanding what I was being told to do. The reason for this was threefold. First was that the restaurant was very loud. The music and machines made a lot of noise so just hearing people’s voices was often difficult. Second was that I was the only person working there who was a native English speaker everyone else spoke English as a second language. The girl who was teaching me was from Portugal, the manager was from Hungry, the kitchen chef was from Spain, another girl was from Poland and the last girl who had worked there the longest besides the manager was originally from Africa, then moved to France for 5 years and finally came to London about a year and a half ago. What this meant is that while they all spoke English to a certain degree they all had different accents some of which were very heavy often making it very difficult for me to understand what they were saying to me even when I could actually hear them. Third and lastly was just the simple fact that I didn’t know what I was doing and most of the stuff they were asking me to do while it seems simple from the outside (make taco shell, make tortilla chips, wash the dishes, etc) all required me to use machines I had never seen before and follow very precise often extensive details, which I was trying desperately to memorize as they went through them. I tried to get into the habit of listening to what they said and repeating it back to them to see if I had it right but even when I got it right it was difficult. For me it’s just one of those things that when I try repeat something that takes numerous steps after only doing it once I often mix up or forget steps if I try to do it too quickly. And here I was trying to do things very quickly in order to show them that I was capable of doing the job and doing it well. I did get the hang of most of the stuff they showed me.

After the doors were opened for customers I was placed at the beginning of the line to steam the tortillas and put rice into them. Depending on how many servers were in the line (more when it was busy, less when it wasn't) I sometimes made it all the way to placing the meat into the burrito. Very quickly I discovered I had to speak very loudly for customers to be able to hear me. I often felt like I was shouting at them. For the most part working in the line was my favorite part of the work day. I liked it when I got to say hello to customers, ask them if they had been there before and just help them out whether it was with suggestions or just making sure they got exactly what they wanted. I had time to even chat with a few of the customers when there was no one else in line. I got to see how many times they had been there and what they thought of the place. All in all I thought this was where I was doing my best work but a majority of the time I was there, during the slower periods, most of the other employees where in the back cooking or doing other things.

Then about five and a half hours into my shift the girl who had been working there the longest (and who I had spoken to the least) came over to me by the front of the line and asked me to follower her. I said okay and started walking with her and I quickly figured out that we were walking down into the break room where I had originally been given my hat and shirt for the day. Now on the way part of me was glad that I might get to go home but part of me was also quite aware that the fact that they were getting ready to talk to me before my possible eight hour shift was over was not a good sign. We sat down together and she asked me what I thought about my day so far. I told her I was enjoying it especially trying to make the tortilla chips since I never knew how much work went into them. While I was speaking the manager walked in and sat down. Once I finished talking the girl (not manager) explained to me how Chipotle was really a team oriented place and that when a new person comes in they make sure to talk to everyone and see what they thought and then she said they had decided not to offer me a second practice shift but rather thought I didn't quite fit in there. I admit I was pretty surprised when she said this. I remained calm and just asked her if there was anything in particular she could tell me about why they decided not to go with me. She went on to focus mostly on the issue of enthusiasm, though she herself didn't seem to know that word.  She said that I didn't smile enough and she expected that especially someone with my history of liking Chipotle for so long I would come across as more excited during the day. I told them that I was a little nervous as the beginning of the day but after that had been enjoying myself but in the end it was their decision and while I was sad that I wasn't going to be given a chance I appreciated their time. I also told them that they would see me again because I would still be coming there to eat and I look forward to saying hi.

Now I find that once someone has told me that they don’t think I am right for a job my mind immediately begins to race trying to figure out what I could have done that made them not like me. I also try to ask questions and stay calm. In this case I was particularly careful not to say anything I would regret later since I knew this was a place I would be returning to. But I won’t lie part of me wanted to tell them that there weren't really a lot of times provided to me where smiling would be necessary or natural and the times that it was, when I was with the customers, I felt I was very friendly and enjoying myself but neither of them was around to see that. When someone is telling you how to make chips or wash dishes and you can barely hear or understand them, is smiling natural or even important? I wanted to explain that I was concentrating on doing everything correctly and remembering all the things they were telling me. While I don’t see my face and how it looks when I feel different things I know for sure that when I am concentrating/focusing on learning and remembering what another person is telling me I don’t have a big grin on my face but is that really that big of a deal? I also wanted to point out that a majority of the morning none of them had been smiling either so does that mean they were improperly hired and Chipotle doesn't want to make the same mistake twice ,or in this case seven times? But I was good and didn't say anything snide or snarky to them rather I just thanked them for their time and went on my way.

Now on my way out I really was mostly just surprised that I had been found wanting for this job and thinking about what am I going to do now. But on my trip home I couldn't help but continue going over everything in my mind about what I had done or who I might have offended/bothered to make them not want me to work there. And during this time I became more and more embarrassed by the fact that I couldn't even get a job at Chipotle.

So on the way there I was self-conscious about telling people I work at Chipotle and on the way home I was ashamed at the thought of telling people I didn't get a job at Chipotle. My embarrassment had taken a 180 degree turn and I found myself not wanting to share any of this with anyone. Then as is often the case for me when I’m feeling embarrassed those feelings often shift to being angry and the longer I contemplated over my day the more upset I became with the people there. Really the only person I thought I might have bothered was the girl who was the one who told me that they as a team decided I wasn't right for the job. During my training/testing she had only spoken to me once about how to clean the glass. She said not to spray the glass but rather to spray the cloth so that nothing gets into the food, which makes perfect sense and I took her instruction and followed it though I know for a fact I didn't smile because I was just trying to understand what she was saying. Out of all the people there her accent was the hardest for me to understand I still don’t know her name because she only said it twice and even after the second time I couldn't make out what it was and I didn't want to ask again. I then thought about being on the line and feeling like I was doing as well as any of them and in fact was the easiest person for any of the customers to understand so what was the problem with me? And come on you barely watched me with the customers isn't that really the most important place to judge me because everything else you can learn with time and practice. Now while I am using the word angry I wasn't fuming mad or anything just disappointed and annoyed.

By the time I got home Priya and Kan (her dad) were already trying to console me and tell me that I was too good for that job and that they didn't pick me because they probably just didn't want someone there who could move up the corporate ladder faster than any of them. While I don’t think either of those things are true I did appreciate their kindness. They then told me not to lose hope and that they were sure I would find a job better than that. I sure hope they are right. Priya also said it might be good that I didn't get a job there because if I worked there for a long time I might end up getting sick of Chipotle or it might lose its luster since I would be making it and working with it every day. Those things might be true but we’ll never know.

Anyway as I said at the beginning it was an interesting day because I got to feel embarrassed twice for two opposite and opposing reasons. First was at the idea of working at Chipotle and second that I was not being chosen to work at Chipotle. I mean obviously rejection is never fun no matter who or where it is coming from but in a way it hurts a little more when it comes from a source that you feel like if anyone should be doing the rejecting it’s you. I mean as arrogant as it sounds I can’t help but feel that I should be the one saying no to them not the other way around. But hey it gave me an embarrassing (twofold) story I could share with the world because what is the point of being embarrassed if you don't eventually end up telling other people about it for a laugh? Hopefully it made some of you smile and thus worthy candidates to work at Chipotle since obviously it didn't make me smile...but maybe one day it will.   

(This is the actual Chipotle I worked at for the day)

114-16 Charring Cross Road, London

On a side note I also recently got rejected by a local bookstore and I even have experience working at a bookstore. Things aren't exactly looking bright right now.